Y Monday, December 22, 2008 Y
Yes after sloughing hard, witnessing many fellow colleagues taking their leaves or rather clearing leaves for breaks, holidays, today is my turn! Looking back, I had been a slave for almost the whole of 2008 without taking a break of my own! I am with the company for every working day. How obedient I had been?!
Month of Dec has been really short I must say. Since the start of Dec, work has been rapidly coming in, schedules have been hectic, tasks have been time consuming yet urgently required. My mind has been moving fast without slowing down much to think and bother. Lately I have fine tuned it to move on slower. Partly today is a non working day for me therefore I can enjoy leisurely, catch a breather. For all I know, 2008 is numbered! Come 2009, a new awakening!
A few things set me pondering for long and good. I was asked to think about what I wish to achieve or take on at work, besides my present duties structured out. Something else kept bothering me obstructing me from going beyond my comfort zone, showing the zest and hunger for new learning at work. I was afraid, again. Afraid making the wrong choices, ending up with regrets for I am not a risk taker. I somehow need confidence and assurance as strength, willpower to keep me going, sustaining and completing it. Knowing that I can’t leave half way is annoying. I am lost…
Another burning issue is that how can I improve my interpersonal communication skills? To achieve big things, to make an impactful impression, to network, to get messages across etc, all utilizes communication greatly. I sucked at it!!! Surprisingly, mysteriously, I stepped into the HR line, which definitely requires it
LOTS and
LOADS MORE than I can imagine and expect. Lately I had a mini outing with my Director and Manager. I screw up this night big time! I thought it was alright to let them get together and I, mind my own business as they might have something confidential to talk about and I will be the extra there, eavesdropping. In the end, it turned out to be my greatest mistake and fault for not being together with them throughout. Ok I know I was wrong to sit there watching TV by myself but that Little Nonya show was attempting to catch for! Excuses I may give, that is not what they perceived. On my way home, I was very pissed. I blamed all. After that horrible night, my manager gave me a ‘lecture’ on my selfless behavior. I shouldn’t outcast them and went on with my own activity. The guest was after all my Director and so I should show active participation amongst. You will never know this is the time she assess or evaluate your social skills etc of you outside work. Although I don’t seem to care, when facing my manager at that time, I was very upset and guilty. I almost cried for the fear I have created for myself. I shun away quick with a black face. I know she meant me well and coming from a kind intention. Now, young and green is not an excuse. I am learning. I am managing. I do not know how to manage her (Director) and react in such situations. There goes the lesson for me. Then, my manager dumped me with a few comparisons. Again, she asked which do you choose to be or which do you desire to be? I am left alone in the pool swimming for answers.
PS: I wanna learn
MAGIC and mixing of cocktail skill, like a bar tender. Do you know where to find a master?
3 1:03 PM 4
Little Memories Of The Past
