Not to mess with kids, because nowadays they are… read on and u’ll find out!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Wishing Well
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned immediately. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said: "Gosh! It really works!"
Three FeelingsQ: What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
A: Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.
Living in SingaporeIn Singapore, the majority of us live in
Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), And most people have already got used to
Paying and Paying (PAP). Not only you have to pay but
Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB). If that's not enough, somebody still
Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get more from you. So what more can you do when you are in the
Money Only Environment (MOE).
With the current
Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to
Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA), which will leave some people
Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB). And forced to live on the
Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system. When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a
Money Operating Hospital (MOH), you might be able to use your
Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund. If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who
Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you, And you will be
Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).
To help ease the traffic, drivers have to pay
Cash On Expressway (COE). If that doesn’t help, the can always
Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads. If you don't own a car, you can always make a
Mad Rush to the Train (MRT) OR get squashed in a bus
Side By Side (SBS).
Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become
So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!
Guys, chill it! Just for laughs...
Labels: funny
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Little Memories Of The Past
