coward = useless? What do u think? I realized when you hide in your hole refusing to meet people, but chose to stay in the dark and quiet corner, afraid of this and that all the time, thinking of escaping from the situation, having illusions of negative voice sounding u out and ultimately no guts to move… To me, these are evident symptoms of coward and fears. Thinking from another angle, is it saying that I’m useless? Such a simple thing also cannot be done with accuracy. What else can u do? This derives to my second pondered question: What is your purpose? Ain’t u supposed to handle all this yourself despite knowing that u can’t perform however, agreed to accept the challenges and take charge? It’s just so contradicting and confusing whether to go that extra mile, take the initiative or to be on save mode- do as instructed, nothing else. Be an obedient good girl or defiant bad girl? You choose what u want to be but don’t regret afterwards and come crying, imposing on others' time, because nobody owes u a living.
Working deskbound is not that bad after all. If asked to decide an option between work and study, I’m still caught in the middle. Previously during my internship @ shanghai, i concluded that study is a more preferable choice compared to work. Probably the reason being I had really disappointed myself and others. I was a coward then. I’m such a letdown!
=( Seriously I don’t know what I want. God knows?
=)
Shared with the rest of the shanghai family to buy a sofa jewelry box and wedding card for Jean, our caring Chinese colleague back @ SSIC Shanghai. (Picture on left)
This week is hectic. Barely able to get sufficient sleep since I got this temp job. Mon was ok upon receiving the confirmation agreement. Tue was first day @ work. Nice pantry and games corner I would say. Imagine I can spend the whole day 10-6pm, changing a new skin for blog, transferring old entries over, adding new features like archives/music/cbox/linkages, lastly msn-ing! haha. On the other hand, get to know the reason why was I selected for the job after I left the interview 45mins later, despite telling them and displaying the worried look on my face that I’m afraid I cannot contribute due to the fact that I have only very very basic knowledge of html codes. However, they gave me the confidence and a chance to be part of the team, completing this website:
GridAsia 2007. They are kind souls.
=) I’m assisting
Asst Director and
Programming Director. Got to know
O (very friendly kept coming to my desk, talk and offered sweets),
J (quiet urbansexual guy) and
N (27yr-old Thai young chap). Today which is now, fri, I did not realize that I end work earlier by 30mins until O mention it. Work has been piling in and up. J instructed to study coldfusion- totally new software to me, only heard of its name but not its functions and features. Coldfusion knows me but I don’t know them. haha. I am so gonna spend the time @ shamrock to mug the manual. By the way, i have completed every single task without fail although there are mistakes along the way. Learn from it man! Don’t try to act smart again. Don't be a smart aleck! Love the dialect saying:
u are smart is enough, don’t act smart! 
Shared with the rest of the shanghai family to buy a sofa jewelry box and wedding card for Jean, our caring Chinese colleague back @ SSIC Shanghai. (Picture on left)